Makes: 1 cool cocktail
Total Kitchen Time: 1 minute (+15 minutes prep, + 30 minutes wait)

Ingredients:

• 3 oz. centrifuged watermelon juice (see below)
• 1 oz. Cazadores Reposado Tequila
• 2 drops Tabasco Sauce

To make the centrifuged watermelon juice:

1. Cut one fresh watermelon into halves lengthwise, then halves again.  Remove the flesh from the watermelon, leaving the bitter rind.  Cut the watermelon into 2” pieces.
2. Working in batches, puree the watermelon pieces until smooth.  Divide the mixture evenly between your centrifuge containers.  A typical watermelon will yield about 2 liters of puree. 
3. Centrifuge the watermelon puree for 30 minutes at 1300Gs.  Carefully remove the centrifuge containers and skim off any film that may have formed at the top.  Decant the clear watermelon juice into a 2 liter container.  You may want to decant through a fine mesh strainer or cheesecloth to ensure that solid matter doesn’t accidentally come along for the ride.

Note: if you don’t have a centrifuge, you can clarify the watermelon juice by holding it near, but not too near, an active black hole.  The extreme gravity will clarify out the juice.

To make the Hot Gallagher:

1. Combine the watermelon juice and tequila in a cocktail shaker full of ice.  Shake vigorously and pour into a lowball glass over cubed or cracked ice. 
2. Garnish with 2 drops of Tabasco, or another favorite hot sauce. 

I smoked each of the beverages below by submerging the Smoking Gun’s rubber tube in the liquid.  In the case of the wines, it served to both smoke and aerate the drinks (BTW, I never understood why it should be impolite to blow bubbles into your wine – if someone complains, tell them you’re “helping the wine open up.”)  I ran the smoker for about 30 seconds for each beverage, then blew away any lingering surface smoke before tasting. 

The results were surprising…

In order from most awful to best, here are my tasting notes:

As you can see from the tasting notes, sometimes this was just way too much smoke.  However, I think there’s potential for this technique.  I’ve heard of restaurants using hand-held smokers to create dramatic tableside presentations, and I’m sure that somewhere out there, a slick bartender is serving whisky with smoked barrels.  But, as far as I know, this is pretty open territory. 

Next up on the smoked beverages list: coffee, tequila, scotch, milk, Muscat, hot chocolate… if you’ve got ideas, leave ‘em in the comments below.

*Disclosure: The Smoking Gun I am using is on loan from Polyscience

Total kitchen time: 10 minutes
Makes: 2 liters

Shopping list:

• 3 cups organic brown sugar
• 2 1/2 cups water
• 1 1/2 cups cut sarsaparilla root (available from online sources)
• 1 liter club soda
• Special equipment: French press

1. Add the sugar and water to a medium saucepan.  Bring to a boil.
2. Remove the lid and strainer from your French press and add the sarsaparilla root.  Fill with the hot simple syrup (sugar water) and let steep for 10 minutes, stirring occasionally.  Reattach the strainer and top of the French press and, well, press.  Pour the liquid into a container (glass iced tea bottles work great).  Refrigerate until ready to serve, or store cold for up to 2 weeks.
3. When ready to serve, combine 1 part sarsaparilla syrup with one part club soda over ice. 

This is a really delicious, refreshing afternoon drink.  Plus, there’s no high-fructose corn syrup – just good ‘ol fashioned brown sugar and water.  At Tilth, the drink is served with a beautiful shard of ice in lieu of ice cubes, which we all know are totally played out.  To make your own ice shard, freeze a small Tupperware container full of water, then go all Psycho on it with a screwdriver and mallet. 

Makes: 3/4 gallon
Total kitchen time: 15 minutes

Shopping list:

• 1 cheap bottle of chardonnay or white zinfandel, sweet
• 1/2 lieter tonic water
• 2 oz brandy
• 1 cup strawberries, sliced
• 1 pear, cored and sliced (bosc or d’anjou work well)
• 1 peach, sliced
• 1/4 cup confectioner’s sugar
• ice

1. Add the sliced fruit, sugar and 2 cups of ice to large pitcher. Muddle with a muddler or the back of a big wooden spoon. You aren’t trying to make a fruit smoothie (and the presentation is much nicer if the fruit are shapely) so just try to get some of the fruit oils released.
2. Add the wine and brandy. Cover and refrigerate until you’re ready to server. Add the tonic water and top the pitcher with more ice. Pour into tall glasses or wine goblets, letting some of the fruit fall into the glass.

This drink is to yuppies what the mint julep is to Southern, aristocratic tobacco farmers. Serve along side a polo shirt and a heightened sense of worth.