Makes: 3/4 gallon
Total kitchen time: 15 minutes

Shopping list:

• 1 cheap bottle of chardonnay or white zinfandel, sweet
• 1/2 lieter tonic water
• 2 oz brandy
• 1 cup strawberries, sliced
• 1 pear, cored and sliced (bosc or d’anjou work well)
• 1 peach, sliced
• 1/4 cup confectioner’s sugar
• ice

1. Add the sliced fruit, sugar and 2 cups of ice to large pitcher. Muddle with a muddler or the back of a big wooden spoon. You aren’t trying to make a fruit smoothie (and the presentation is much nicer if the fruit are shapely) so just try to get some of the fruit oils released.
2. Add the wine and brandy. Cover and refrigerate until you’re ready to server. Add the tonic water and top the pitcher with more ice. Pour into tall glasses or wine goblets, letting some of the fruit fall into the glass.

This drink is to yuppies what the mint julep is to Southern, aristocratic tobacco farmers. Serve along side a polo shirt and a heightened sense of worth.