Photo Story: The Land of Misfit Pastries

cookie

For some reason I can’t remember, Jessie Oleson (of the fantastic blog Cakespy.com) and I decided to get together and absolutely destroy a few sweets using some of my favorite kitchen tools: the sous vide machine, the centrifuge, the rotor-stator homogenizer, the blowtorch, the vacuum chamber, and the blender.  I took photos of our mayhem and Jessie illustrated them and crafted a story in her signature style.  The result is… disturbing.  Without further ado, here is the Photo Story of the Misfit Pastries.

In a land not so far away, in the dark endcap displays of the grocery store, exists the land of misfit pastries.

These are the sad, stale, and typically on-sale sweets that have not been purchased, the unloved in a generally lovable section of the food pyramid.

Like shooting stars, their futures initially looked bright. But as someone (don’t ask me who, probably a lighting salesman) once said, "the brighter the light, the bigger the shadow". And here, we are going to delve into some of the bad things that can happen to fallen pastries.

Take here the hapless cookies, so festive and fresh a few days ago, which are now inspiring the ire of a rather dapper Watermelon. What will happen next in this scene? We cannot be sure, but one thing is certain: that Mr. Watermelonsworth is displeased, and his monocle and mustache should tell you that he means business.

mr watermelonsworth

…or see how cupcakes have fallen into an unfortunate series of events. sometimes we do senseless things when we are bored or just hungry. were these purposeful lures or simply a cupcake playdates gone bad? Nobody can be sure, but one thing’s certain, these poor Hostess cupcakes are never gonna be the same, and their friends are looking hungry.

Profiteroles with Vanilla Bean Ice Cream

cream puff 
Thanks to Rachel’s hard work and perseverance, these profiteroles (a.k.a. pâte à choux, a.k.a. cream puffs) came out perfectly on the first try (of the 2nd attempt).  Light, flaky and not overly sweet, profiteroles are a simple but very elegant way to indulge your sweet tooth.  Top the puffy dumplings with a semi-sweet chocolate sauce and you’re on your way to portly heaven. 

Mmmmango Tea-and-Honey Sorbet

Mmmango and honey sorbet
I’m not much of a coffee drinker (strange for a Seattleite), but I do enjoy a good cup of tea.  Actually, I enjoy a frozen bowl of tea even more – get it, iced tea!  I’ve recently discovered the Portsmouth Tea Company, an excellent supplier of high-end tea blends.  Their "Mmmmango” tea is perfectly sweet and just slightly herbal – a great fit for tea-based sorbet. 

Makes: 2 quarts
Total kitchen time: 30 minutes, plus churning time

Shopping list:

  • 1.5 quarts purified water
  • 4 tbsp. Mmmmango tea
  • 3 tbsp. honey
  1. In a medium saucepan, bring the water to a boil.  Remove from heat.
  2. Distribute the loose tea among 4 tea bags or 2 tea infusers and place in the pot of water.  Let the tea steep for 25-30 minutes for maximum flavor.
  3. Once the tea has steeped, remove the tea bags and stir in the honey.  Adjust to taste with more honey, if needed, until the mixture is just slightly sweet.
  4. Refrigerate the tea mixture until cold, then churn using your ice cream maker’s instructions.
  5. Top with a drizzle of honey before serving.

I’m a big fan of sneaking loose tea into recipes, especially deserts.  Do you have any favorite tea recipes?  Are there any tea creations you’d like to see?  If so, leave a comment below!