Growing up in San Diego, my best friend’s house backed up to an avocado grove. On warm, bored Saturdays, we used to hop his fence play “grenades” with the ripe, delicious fruit. At $2.00 a pop, I shudder at the amount of damage we may have done to some poor farmer. But I was young, foolish, and hadn’t yet fallen in love – with guacamole.
Makes: exactly 34 chipfuls (look at the ingredients. that’s how much, dummy)
Total kitchen time: 5 minutes
- 2 ripe Haas avocados
- 1 vine-ripe tomato
- 1 shallot, finely diced
- 2 cloves garlic, roasted, smashed
- 1 jalapeno pepper, smoked, finely diced
- 2 tbsp cilantro, finely chopped
- 1 lime, juiced
- sea salt and fresh ground pepper, to taste
- Split the avocados in half through the stem end; in case you’re from Nebraska, be warned that avocados have a large hard pit. Run your knife around the pit in the center. Twist the halves 1/4 turn to separate. To remove the pit, carefully (with a sharp knife and medical insurance) whack the knife blade into the pit. Turn your knife until the pit pops free. Or, use a spoon.
- Cut a 1/2″ grid pattern into the flesh of the avocado. Turn the skin inside out and use a spoon to remove the flesh into a bowl.
- Add the remaining ingredients and stir to combine.
OK, now you know how easy it is to make your own guacamole. Trust me, this will be 10 times better thank that green paste crap they sell in the supermarket. You see, avocados are very perishable and they brown quickly in the presence of air. The acid in the lime juice will slow this a bit, but not long enough to give fresh guacamole a good shelf life. So, the crap you buy at the store is filled with radiator fluid, formaldehyde and lava ash. I’m pretty sure, at least.
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